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Thursday, April 5, 2012

On Becoming the Orchestrator of Holidays

Easter is coming up, and it feels like maybe it won't be special enough, what should we do? After all Michelle is leaving and we need it to be more special. We have no plans... truth be told, all holidays are starting to have that ring about them, like they may be starting to become 'work'. That makes me really sad, and rather than succumb and accept that (resist, even until death) I think I have figured out why at least.

It's because we are now the ones responsible for creating the magic of the holiday. As a child the 'Holiday' (with a capital H) was responsible for the magic, with Christmas, it was in the air, and everything mundane felt special, magical even. As a child who believed in magic and possibilities these times felt especially magical.

Now I realize it was not the 'Holiday' at all but the magic that my parents and family managed to weave that truly lifted my spirits. I had recently begun to feel disappointed with the way holidays were feeling like a forced joie de vivre, like I had to pretend, like a slightly inappropriate overgrown child type feeling. But now I feel empowered, as a parent, I can create that magic and use my imagination, create memories of any shape or description. The magic and specialness I felt as a child was real to me after all, and became a strong foundation for the person I am today. I feel empowered now to create that special foundation for my child, my princess.

So now I can look forward to Holidays again, (I always did anyway) but in a way that feels appropriate and real, and compares to the way I felt as a child. I can live the life vicarious, and do it through my baby, This is Saoirse's first Easter, and she will never remember it, but I will, and I think it should be special. Any ideas?

1 comment:

Sarah Goforth said...

Ok so weirdly, I can't remember it. I will do better next year, things have still not settled down in our house.

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