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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Knitting Sexy - and a work/life balance

This is how I feel on the inside ;) Thank you second trimester 'cravings'/Jason being gone for 5 weeks (sarcasm). Looking forward to him getting home.

Now onto the work/life balance aspect as represented in the title by the word 'knitting', and less of the innuendo'. I clicked through on this link (which is where I got the picture) and got all inspired to knit again and remembered that when I thought about my future pregnant self (now a current reality) I imagined myself knitting, and reading about being a mum (generally preparing), listening to music strapped to my belly for baby, and you know just generally preparing for motherhood and labor and delivery.

I imagined myself at work too, a little embarassed about my belly and how unreal that would feel. In my mind it would still be me without all this hormonal chaos, but in fact I am kinda halfway in between being who I was who I am going to be (a mum) and the life I am going to live. Certainly disrupted, and certainly not all my own, because that is already happening, but also the joy, excitement, and all the possibility it will bring.

So I am in a chrysalis mode right now, and it's a good thing, but the transition is mostly difficult at this stage, awkward to deal with alone, and I am learning a few things.

I need to relax more and focus on being the pregnant person I wanted to be, because the vision I had of what I wanted to do and be does matter, and the only person hurting because I am not doing it, is me and baby. So more knitting, and decluttering and putting away of the clothes that no longer fit.

I am having to be more realistic at work too which is difficult. My first instinct is always and has, up until recently been, 'I can do that!' and I immediately sign up, but the reality is it leads to working every weekend til late, and some evenings, keeping up with commitments I made possibly rashly. Add to that the regular 'being an adult stuff' (dealing with phone companies and tenant issues), and dishes sitting around in the kitchen for WAY too long, and WAY too many for 1 and a bit persons and you get a bit of an overwhelming situation that it's hard to imagine anyone being able to help with.

So for my work life balance/sanity, I am going to live as I mean to a little more each day, and that means working as hard I as I can during the work day, setting goals and timelines for each task and really doing only what I can within the timeline because I have to move onto something else I promised tomorrow. That should free up my evenings and weekends substantially. Lets face it, I am much more tired than usual atm and the stress of working so much has not been good for me thus far or for my long distance relationship with my gorgeous hubby.

I am also trying to subscribe to the happiness project edict of 1 shelf at a time, of cleaning and organizing, swapping out my clothes, and getting enough rest. I am not going to 'commit' to more goals in the personal realm such as more knitting and exercise etc, because that will just create further stress, but I will say that 'soon' I will be knitting and dancing, reading and feeling good about my progress at work and around the house. That's it for my lofty goals until I have the baby. Persistent, one step at a time, 'stress less' and 'enjoy more' attitude daily.

BTW upcoming events milestones are for July 28, we find out sex of the baby, and I get to become a US citizen.

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