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Monday, March 12, 2012

First morning at work.. on the train.

So for now it feels like the start of a balanced new life.

As a new mum, the kind of love I have to give (heck, as  a woman as far as I know!) The kind of love I share is/was all consuming anyway. For someone like me I think that the only way for me to be balanced is to have multiple anchors, not too many mind... but these two for now feel doable. My home, S, J and puppies, and my Job. Of course there are more like the rest of my family purposefully added to the orbit by moving here and to be given energy too.

Leaving Saoirse this morning was like ripping off a bandaid though. I fed her at 5:0 and fed her again at 7 only briefly - she didn't get much and I was tempted to settle in for the next feed or burping session - but I had to go upstairs and wake up J and give S over for her burp so I could get ready. She and I are about to be seperated for our largest stint this morning - 7 til 12 noon, and then 1 til 6:30. It really will be 10 hrs parted every day that I am at work, adding to 40 hrs away per week.

Thank god I can recover Friday - spend it with her... it really is an all consuming love when you are a parent.

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